I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
