32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
