i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He did a backflip because drugs
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