dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
