So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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