Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
