Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
