i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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