I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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