you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
