So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
