I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
