dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
