He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
