too bad you live with your parents still
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
