Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
