She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
