Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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