Will you blow on my dice?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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