You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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