i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
