She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
