i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
