We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
