Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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