wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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