u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
