Dual....:-)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
this is an emotional support booty call
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
