SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
