I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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