I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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