hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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