i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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