i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
