he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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