Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
