his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
