i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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