I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
