just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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