gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Church boner. Awkwardddd
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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