Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
