Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
