I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
