I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
