True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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