it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
