Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
