white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
