I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
