would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
