it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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