I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
